October - where fall begins, football season kicks off, the weather gets cooler, the leaves turn into beautiful colors, and politicians go back to work in Washington for the greater good after a relaxing month off.
I can feel your eyes rolling!
Since Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, let me indulge you with a unique perspective and a touch of humor, as always. A couple of ideas to keep me in line this year.
First, I won’t be using the Borat green “mankini” costume. I bought it thinking I could just throw on a wig and win a golden globe, but after a trial run, I was reminded how attractive I am, therefore, the world is not ready for my perfect figure. Instead, I have this great idea for me and the family for costumes. Carnival workers! My 3-year-old can be a sideshow dwarf, the wife could be a gypsy mind reader (since she tells me what I am thinking all the time), and I could be a bearded lady. I always wanted to try on a girdle. Exactly why I just admitted that in this article, I have no idea.
The candy intake will be limited. Gonna lay off the Sweet Tarts and mini Snickers. For some reason, I start to chow down, and I can’t stop when it comes to those delightful, delicious, amazingly tasty, wonderful… anyone know of a good Candy Anonymous group in the area?
I hope to spend Halloween around a bunch of little ones. The way their eyes light up when the handfuls of candy fly right into those bags remind me of those days when I was a child, running around Whitefield Drive and Bunker Hill, not missing a doorstep for the delightful treats. I really like it when I sound so poetic over something so simple like cramming my face with sugar!!
I hope each and every one of you have a safe and fun holiday. Don’t eat too much candy, watch the little ones, and most importantly, enjoy every festivity you can find.
Trey Jones is a moderate Republican, auto mechanic, certified personal trainer, and looks really good in a mankini.
White Hall, AR —
